Tea Cup Bri: An Epic Journey

Okay, all of the color coating died when I copied and pasted this into a blog post. Christina M. Brian D. and I wrote this a sentence at a time, switching back and forth, and I am not going to bother going through the entire thing again in order to show who wrote what. A pity, but ah well. Life goes on ^_^


Once upon a time a little Brian, the size of a tea cup, was imagining what it would be like to live under the sea. First he began to wonder what faerie would give him such great powers. Would it be Undine, the killer of hapless princes? Or Tinker Bell, the jealous sprite who gains her power from the almighty Taco Bell? Undoubtedly, Undine wouldn’t kill a teacup sized boy, so with great ire and spite, he journeyed off to the secret river in which Undine dwells. But first he punched the vending machine which spitefully dispensed a sprite. Of course you must know that this was no ordinary sprite…but a sprite with the map to the secret river, because naturally, most cans of sprite carry strange maps, but very few lead to the secret river. After acquiring the freakishly awesome can Brian then headed into the sunset. The next morning, he was very tired from the lack of sleep (naturally, when you go into the sunset, you don’t get much sleep). Nevertheless he continued on his way. His first encounter was with a smelly, one-eyed, bearded yak worshiper, who looked at him and said, “O boyus! Dost thou burpum? Or perhaps belcha?” Scared out if his mind by the disgustingly, disturbing and what seemed to be creature-ish looking appendage hanging out of the ghastly creature’s mouth, He asked, “Are you a ghoul?” There was only one way to find out, so he grabbed a big stick and lobbed it at her head, “Woe ist mea!” cried the smelly, one eyed, bearded yak worshiper. “How in the world can I tell you if I’m one of *whispers* them, if you bludgeon me! Just ask nicely and maybe I won’t kill you yet with a proposal of marriage. However, you must ask the right question, lest ye die.’ With a deceptive gleam in his eye, he gradually lowered down on one knee, picked up a stick, and said, “Will you marry me?” As she rushed forward with glee, he knocked her cold with a hefty swing. “Apparently she really is a one-eyed, bearded yak worshiper.” Brian then wandered off to the conveniently placed watering hole, where he saw the peaceful looking Simba and through to himself, “Finally, someone nice!” Little did he know what was about to take place. The peaceful, fuzzy and cuddly exterior hid a heart of passionate and desperate evil. His façade was ripped apart as he roared awake and pounced. Brian only just managed to roll aside and crawl into a gopher hole. Shivering with fear and dripping with slobber he frantically ventured deeper into the dark and dreary black abyss. Suddenly, he thought, “ew, slobber! Where did this come from? I’ll have none of it!” And with that, the slobber vanished! At the sudden vaporization of the disgusting saliva, Brian gasped. What happened? Did he have his own personal powers? Or was it just his imagination? In fact it was neither! While escaping from the ferocious Simba he didn’t notice the snoring gopher blowing nasty morning breath his way, and acting as a very effective hair dryer. He sighed with disappointment and moved on. He thought to himself, “How will I ever get out of this hole?” When all of a sudden he remembered the sprite can in his hand. He opened it with a pop, and out came a little faerie that shoved a little piece of paper up his nose and vanished with an explosion of carbonated fizz. Feeling a bit exhausted from his journey so far, he decided to sit down and drink the sprite. Afterwards, he picked his nose and out came the map. It was kind of really disgusting and revolting, so he wiped the bogies onto the gopher, who just snored and rolled over. Slowly and cautiously, Brian crawled out of the hole and back to Simba’s watering hole. Upon his resurfacing, he promptly shouted, “hakuna mattata!” and simba declared, “No worries, bro!” With that, Brian continued on his journey. By now the sun had risen and was blasting evil words at him saying “I shan’t let you continue on your journey!” Rather distraught, Brian shouted back a challenge, and then ran like the wind. Luckily for him, the sun and the wind were in an argument, so the North East South West wind ran with him and blew him to a dark forest, on the edge of which stood a sign which read, “WARNING: car exhaust is hazardous to health” He thought to himself, “If I’m ever big enough to have health, I’ll remember that.” With that he walked into the forest. Soon he found a big mushroom to sit on, and he pulled out the map. Gleaming with delight, he saw that he was not too far from his destination. However, Brian had to first to cross Lickety Split No Bananas Lava Lava highway! WITH NO TOOTSIE ROLLS!! If only he could cross safely, but without tootsie rolls that would be terribly difficult. But wait! He was too little to have health, so why worry? Thus, he began to think of a candy that he could use to get across the dreaded highway. “There are skittles, starbursts, M&Ms…GUMMY WORMS AND BEARS!” He thought to himself, “I can throw the bears at the speeding cars and run across!” So he began to throw the gummy bears at the cars with all his might. But because he was so small, his gummy bears were naturally proportionate to his body size, so they did not stop the cars. However, they did form a sort of gummy pathway across Lickity Split No Bananas Lava Lava highway! He cautiously stepped across and was not stuck in the goo even once. When across, he heard the gurgling and chuckling of a river. “Yes!” He thought, “I’m almost to the river of Undine… but how shall I ever see the way to the river in this dark and dreary forest?” Hastily searching his mind, he remembered the sprite can and thought, “I can use it as a reflector.” So he held out the can and smiled from ear to ear so that the shine from his teeth reflected on the can and lit the way! Slowly, he crept through the ghastly forest, making his way closer and closer to the gurgling and chuckling. Suddenly, a melodic voice called out, and he saw a beautiful lady coming out of the water and gesturing to him welcomingly. “Ah, little squirrel, come drink of my waters.” Quoth she. Spellbound, he slowly yet cautiously walked towards the lady but was taken aback when he saw a majestic crocodile come out of the water. With an Australian accent, he said, “What a beauty! How shall I know which one is Undine? I know, I’ll decide this the logical way. Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?“ The majestic crocodile responded, “Four!” in his grunt like speech. The lady called out angrily, “This is certainly not logical!” Brian paused, “ah, you are rather very full of a little much of wisdom, you must be Undine!” The crocodile licked his chops, and walked towards Brian, but Undine sent him away. Pleased to have found the true Undine, he went over to her and began to speak when wall of a sudden his main objective vanished from his mind. Quite embarrassed, he said to her, “dear Undine, my deepest apologies! I have traveled for so long and through so many perils, that I have forgotten my whole purpose in coming! Oh my, the dangers I have faced! First the vending machine, then the yak worshiper, then the watering hole and Simba, then the gopher’s hole, without Winnie the Pooh, mind you, then the sun and the wind, then Lickity Split No Bananas Lava Lava Highway, then the forest, and now you!” He sighed an exasperated sigh and looked like he was about to cry. Undine shook her head and looked on poor little Brian and said, “Now what is the moral of this story?” He answered, “Never go on a journey that is longer than your wish!”

New Blog

Hello dears, I am proud to announce that I have a new blog. It is shared between the self proclaimed Muses: Lizzy, Heather and I. We someday want to join all of our talents into one place, where we can build good community and comfortable studying grounds. I find it to be very exciting, because it reminds me of the part in "A Severe Mercy," where the Vanaukens are living in Oxford, and live in the studio, where their friends come over every evening or so to discuss, chat, and fellowship together. So, in our blog we will be brainstorming about this little dream of ours. Tis ever so lovely.

Ah, also, sorry about the rather ugly/ewwie/undeignified/dull state of my blog. I am messing with template, color, and I must find a good pic.

-Sarah

YAY!

I got a lovely lappy!! Its name is Ada Rose, and it has pretty buttons... and is shiny. and new. and happy. it has little specialness, and yayness..... whee!


-The Sarah

Post-It Note Originated Story

Once upon a time, a thoughtful little boy gazed deeply into the night sky and upon the face of the moon. The longer he looked, the more he wondered. So the boy eventually asked; “Dear Moon, how did you become so beautiful and grand?” The wonderful lady who is the moon liked the look of the boy, as he stood with his hands deep in his pockets, frank curiosity on his face, and awe in his eyes. Carefully pulling her long dark tresses over her shoulder, she lent down to whisper her secret to him. As she did so, an angry gale nearly knocked the boy down into the deep grasses, urgently cutting its winding path. It whipped away her words and hurled them into the dark. They flew so far that they caught in the deep blue net above their heads and twinkled there. The moon helped steady the boy on his feet as the wind passed, and slowly looked up to see her words shining unintelligibly in the heavens. The boy desperately hoped that she would repeat that precious phrase, but she did not. She grew pale as the sun cast a fiery glance over the horizon and stood straight again. The boy attempted to grasp her hand as she receded back to her place of watchfulness, but he found that it faded to the point of vanishing. Her pale face flickered when the greater light overtook her and her stars winked out. The boy stood and watched the sun take her place in the heavens, then turned and walked home. He never uttered one word about the meeting to anyone, but wondered evermore.